Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Unsolved Mysteries and Other Problems of Daily Life


by Janis Susan May/Janis Patterson

Mysteries are not strange and wonderful that happen mainly in books. I run into them every day, and haven’t been able to solve most of them.

For example, there is the Case of the Vanishing Apricots. I love apricots, but only a small amount of fresh ones are available in the stores, and for only a short time. And, unfortunately, usually for a horrendously high price. Some canned ones – usually in heavy syrup, which I don’t like – are available, but the kind I really liked – packed in plastic jars in pure fruit juice – have disappeared from the shelves and I can’t order any. Apricot pie filling, my favorite for years, vanished at least two decades ago. Am I the only person left on the planet who prefers apricot pies to the ubiquitous and usually tasteless apple?

Or consider the Case of the Absolute Impossibility of Opening a Cardboard Package by pushing where it says ‘Press Here To Open’? I’ve found it’s easier to start out with a screwdriver and a claw hammer. It’s just quicker. And kinder to your fingernails.

Then there’s the Curse of the Magic Nail Polish. Every time I go for a pedicure I try to pick the same color. I’m a sucker for red toe nails. Can’t explain it, but just love them. My salon has probably half a wall of varying shades of nail polish – everything from a brilliant blue to beige to the darkish taupe one sees on the nails of decomposing corpses. There’s yellow and merlot and several glittery shades. There’s even a red or two – but never the same one twice. And the color I choose always changes from the bottle to my toes. My last visit I swear I chose a brilliant pure red, I thought, but by the time I got home it had morphed into an acid pink. Sigh. Pink’s nice too – and easier than going back to the salon earlier than I have to!

For that matter, how can we search for some lost item for hours, then finally decide to use/take/wear something else, then return to find the thing we wanted to find originally in the middle of a big empty space where we know we hunted several times before?

Lastly (for this list, at least) is the Mystery of the Single TV Show. We all get caught in viewing patterns; either it’s a show we really like, or the Spouse likes, and that pretty much kills watching anything else in that time slot. Sometimes, however, something happens and we are able to tune in to another program that looks interesting. Sometimes this even happens twice – but it seems that when we can watch the other show, it’s always the same episode. Every. Single. Time.


Sigh. Mysteries are so much easier to solve when I make them up!

14 comments:

  1. You hit the nail on the head! Our little mysteries each day can get to be frustrating, especially when they occur over and over--such as, hmmm, now where did I put my phone?

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    1. Fran, your cell phone has probably run off with my car keys and my MWA badge!

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  2. Love your comments! Funny about apricots. I recently purchased apricot jam and observed that we so rarely have a chance to buy fresh apricots even in the summer when they should be abundant. But let me not get started on the poor quality of fruit being shipped in via Nafta.

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    1. Jacqueline, maybe we should start an Apricot Appreciation Association and protest that we are being discriminated against! Seriously, I agree with you about the quality of supermarket fruits and vegetables - I wish we had a good farmers' (real farmers, not commercial ventures) market close by.

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  3. Very interesting post, Janis!
    Good luck and God's blessings
    PamT

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    1. Thanks, Pam! Appreciate your coming by

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  4. Mysteries of opening packages and single TV shows? Absolutely! Apricots are in abundance here in Greece, so we're good, but my biggest mystery is the Mystery of the Thing I Want To Find In Bag. I usually carry one of those big hobo bags where I put everything from wipes and gum to my Kindle. Whatever I need to locate fishing inside the bag, I'll catch last. Every. Time. The amount of time I've spent looking inside my bag, sometimes needing to empty it, I could have spent written an novellette.

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    1. Maria, I envy you a generous supply of apricots! Yum. Eat some for me, will you? As for the bag... it makes no difference if I carry a small one or a large one, it always seemes there is either a black hole in the bottom that swallows just what I need, or that the new life forms evolving down there devour it. Sigh. Thanks for writing!

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  5. And there's the classic about the single socks in the dryer. What happened to their mates? And where my favorite scissors disappeared to after one of my grandchildren 'borrowed' them. Not to mention the tape. And my favorite pen.

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    1. I believe some malign god somewhere has a huge storage room just full of mis-matched socks, scissors, and whatever. Sigh.

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  6. I haven't put my keys in fridge yet... but that could happen! Clues sometimes just aren't enough to solve the day to day problems. Thanks for reminding me...now where did I put...!

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    1. When my mother was living and I visited her, she always had something for me to take home (I was single) so I always put my car keys on the package. I often forgot them, but at least I didn't get far! I was told to make notes and lists, which would probably work if I could only remember where I put them!

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  7. My husband has lots three pairs of p.j. bottoms and asked what I did with them. All I did was wash and fold them and put them on the table in the bedroom where I put all the laundered clothes. And don't get me started on "easy open stuff."

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  8. My mystery:
    When I buy a special ingredient to cook with, why can't I find it when I'm cooking, but will locate it in the pantry three days later?

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