After some thought, I've decided that the secret, which sounds bone-stupid at first, is time.Obviously, a 21-year anniversary means we've stuck together for 21 years. But time, in a relationship, comes in many forms. Here's what I mean:
- Time spent together. Right,
another no-brainer. But sometimes, when life gets busy, we can forget
to simply be companions to each other. That night you set aside to go
out to dinner may not go as planned. Then that unplanned hour you
find yourselves together in the car, running pain-in-the-neck
errands, can turn into a highlight of the week. Especially if you
allow yourselves time to make an unscheduled stop at Starbucks for a
drink, or McDonald’s for a hot fudge sundae.- Time spent apart. I’m not talking long separations here. But doing a few things separately gives us individual experiences – something to talk about, to compare notes, to catch up on.
- Time to get to know each other. In romance novels, couples are often ready to get married days after they meet. The romantic side of us loves the idea of falling in love in a whirlwind courtship and getting married while we’re still dizzy. And of course, as writers we can be confident these two were truly made for each other -- because we made them that way! But these days, when divorce can be seen as such an “easy out,” I don’t think most couples would weather the storms ahead long enough to see what’s waiting on the other side. If getting married is really a good idea after a week, it won’t stop being a good idea after several months.
- Good times … and bad times. Realize that there WILL be storms to be weathered: accidents, illnesses, financial setbacks. The challenges (and sleep deprivation) of learning to be new parents. The challenges (and sleep deprivation) of raising teens. The reward of turning around and seeing those teens turn into really neat people.
Compared to some people with long marriages, my husband and I are rookies at just 21 years. We started late enough that I don't know if we'll see our golden anniversary, but I hope for another 21 years at the least!
Happy anniversary, sweetie.
Cool! We'll be celebrating our 21st anniversary this month too! (Last day of the month to be precise.) This is a great reminder, Sierra, of the hard work and the rewards. Thanks for the reminder to spend some time looking into each others' eyes for a few moments of the day. (I recommend ballroom dance lessons. 2 hours of looking at each other and having to trust your partner not to crash you into something. :o)
ReplyDelete1993 was a good year for marriages, wasn't it, Sofie? Congratulations on your upcoming celebration!
DeleteI love a love story. Congratulations and Happy Anniversary, Sierra! You're a beautiful couple - in every way. And you too, Sofie. I predict you'll both reach that golden 50. Dare I admit that I've been married for 52 years or would that make people think I'm old?
ReplyDeleteSandy, you're way too fun and bright to be "old"! Congrats on passing that golden anniversary. I hope to join you!
Deletecute picture. 35 years here, and beleive me, it hasn't been a romance novel. Marriage is work, but worth the effort. Besides, I don't feel like training someione new - LOL
ReplyDeleteHave a great anniversary.
LOL, Kathye. And congrats on your 35 years. The bumps in the road are definitely part of the package ... but there's a LOT to be said for having someone who's seen us at our worst and who still sticks around!
DeleteHi Sierra--
ReplyDeleteCongratulations to you and your husband!
Victoria--
Great photo, Sierra. Congratulations! Great post.
ReplyDelete