Be It Resolved...

by Janis Susan May/Janis Patterson

Sometimes I think if I hear/see/read one more thing about New Year’s Resolutions I will scream. Every January 1 we’re supposed to completely change our lives, remake ourselves and institute completely new thought patterns. Then, being human, when we slip, backslide or otherwise fail, we are depressed and return to our old ways or worse. Small wonder New Year’s Resolutions have in many ways become a bad joke.

This year I’ve beat the system. I’ve made only one resolution, and that one I am sure to keep. I resolved to make no resolutions! Which is an insoluble conundrum, I know, but logic has never been my strong point.

Resolutions have always unnerved me somehow. I am a very stubborn person and once I say something I will move Heaven and earth to keep my word. Two years ago I vowed to put my publishing career into high gear after far too many years of futzing around. I did it, and it bloody near killed me. Since May of 2014 I have been working non-stop, publishing I-don’t-know-how-many-books (including one release every two weeks for five months!) with never any less than three writing projects going on at a time. I traveled to Egypt to research a book, then to Boston, Alabama and Las Vegas to research other projects. I did mountains of publicity (which I loathe) and blogged a lot – pretty much any time anyone would let me in addition to my standing days. I spoke at several prestigious conferences and attended even more conferences, some for me and some for The Husband. I kept our house and made a home for The Husband, did some teaching and dealt with several family crises. And that’s just what I can remember now.

I’m tired.

So did it work? Was it worth it? I dunno. My sales have been fairly good, but not anywhere near what I want them to be. My name is known in the industry, and I think I have a pretty good reputation. I haven’t had the lightning strike of luck yet, but no resolution, New Year’s or not, is going to change that.

All of which has brought me to a decision. I’m going to slow down. I’m going to enjoy life more. I’m going to pay more attention to my home and my family and my animals. I may even clean out my kitchen cabinets. (On the other hand, I may not – don’t need to get TOO carried away!) I’ll still write, and publish, and speak, and pretty much do everything I’ve been doing, but just not so much of it.

I need to remember to put more emphasis on making a life instead of making a living.

(PS - for those of you who were interested in my newsletter, there is now a sign-up form available on my website!) 

TOO BUSY

                                                            

I see a trend with my peers, older women with spouses, grown children, and often grandchildren. We’re all busy.  Our days are full and, especially during the holidays, we approach each day with a long to-do list. 

I never expected this.  I thought my main concern at my age, 60-something, would be making tee times or dinner reservations.  I imagined myself sitting by a pool or in my kitchen over a cup of tea, alone and bored, wondering what to do next. 

I don’t want to be that person in the kitchen, the one who has too much time on her hands who spends her days mostly alone and in silence. But isn’t there happy medium? How did it come to be that my peers and I are so overbooked and overloaded?  Could it be just during the holidays?   Maybe.  I’m sure the holidays are why I am writing this blog on the day that it’s supposed to be posted.  If I’m lucky it will at least make the west coast deadline, but the east coast one is long gone.  The holidays, although the reason for some of the busyness, doesn’t account for the rest of the year when my head, and so many of my peers, is still filled with lists of what needs to be done and calendars full of engagements. 

One reason for my schedule is I like being busy.  The picture of the lonely woman at her kitchen table or by the side of the pool is not an accurate picture of me.  I’m social, enjoy having people in my life and have many interests.  But as the end of the holidays approach, I ask myself when does being busy become an escape or is simply too much.

New Years is a time for resolutions.  Mine are usually to lose 10 or fifteen pounds and finish my work in progress.  This year, instead of the weight loss resolution—although continuing to be a wish seems, after all these years, kind of trite—I’m wondering if I should vow to schedule and do less.  Could there be a happy medium between sitting alone at my kitchen table nursing a cup of tea and a woman whose calendar is so full of engagements there is scarcely time for any spontaneity? 

Maybe it’s because I’m still in the midst of holiday recovery, but I’m thinking that instead of filling every day with obligations and challenges, my resolution should be to pare down what I do, learn to say no and take some alone time doing nothing.  It’s occurred to me that my head shouldn’t always be stuffed with what I need to accomplish.  There should be space for taking detours and even occasionally days of doing nothing or, heaven forbid, lunching with a friend.  

This goal is so revolutionary that I’m betting my husband, children and those who know me well, doubt I can do it. But I’m going to challenge myself to try. I think the resolution to occasionally do nothing is long overdue.  I’ll report back about my success or lack thereof.