On Life, Love and Loss - A Reality Check

by Janis Susan May/Janis Patterson

As writers our job is to create emotions and reactions to those emotions, be it a love story or a murder mystery or whatever. Sometimes we get so used to playing God, creating and manipulating those emotions and reactions in the way we want, that when real emotions from real situations hit us we are blindsided and overwhelmed.

2018 has not been a good year. As you probably know, this spring my long-time, beloved cover artist Dawn Charles was found dead in her apartment. While devastating, her passing was a grief but not really surprising. Her health had been iffy for years, and sometimes it seemed she spent as much time in the hospital as out. Still, we did about 20 book covers together, emailed or chatted on the phone at least once a fortnight - and more often than not a couple of times a week. Though we never met in person, she was closer and more dear to me than a lot of people with whom I share DNA.

Then last week I received the shattering news that Dr. Dirk Huyge had died suddenly and unexpectedly.  Curator of the Royal Museum of Art and History in Brussels and Director of the Belgian Archaeological Mission to Elkab, Dirk and I had met online when I was casting about for help on information on the Elkab necropolis for THE EGYPTIAN FILE. We became friends, and after a while he thought that I do a book about the dig house at Elkab, which is widely believed to be haunted by the ghost of its builder, Somers Clarke. I thought he was joking, but as time progressed he suggested that The Husband and I come to stay for a while in the dig house - a thing that civilians never get to do.

I wanted to, I really really wanted to, but we had been traveling a lot and The Husband was on one of his periodic 'we're spending too much and we have to cut down on expenses' kicks. I don't give up easily, though, so after telling Dirk I would see I sat and thought for several hours. marshalling every argument I could think of about why this would be a good thing. By the time The Husband came home I had a huge and cogent presentation ready. He walked in the door and I started in - 'Darling, Dirk has asked us to come stay at the dig house and I think...'

That was the end of it. He looked at me and said, 'Sounds great. When do we go?'

Now it is a long and expensive way from Dallas to Luxor to Elkab, especially for less than a week, so The Husband I decided to make a real holiday of it. We contacted Jane Akshar, who rents luxurious holiday flats on the west bank of Luxor for what to American eyes is a ridiculously low rent, and arranged to stay with her. I met Jane online at the same time I met Dirk, and she too has become a dear and beloved friend (as well as a gifted and creative webmistress for my website) as well as my go-to reference about the minutiae of being in Egypt.

Dirk invited us in the middle of January; on March 15th we boarded the plane for Egypt. We didn't get to stay as long as we liked at the dig house (don't know how long that would be - I'd like to be there still) but the house is not all that large when a full dig crew is in residence, and we had to be sandwiched in between the visits of our dear friend Salima Ikram and a film crew from the BBC. And in order for us (non-professionals in the field of Egyptology) to come to the dig at all Dirk had to work his way through several layers of mind-boggling Egyptian bureaucracy to get us permission to stay. The Egyptians are very protective of their antiquities, and as a consequence very few civilians get to see archaeology from a dig house perspective.

When the day came for us to leave Luxor for Elkab, we had agreed to call Dirk on the way to the train station and he would come get us, as we would never be able to find the dig house on our own. He was right about that; to reach the dig house involved a long drive through a road-less wasteland populated with a few mean little huts, a couple of dead cattle and two enormous cemeteries.

But that was to come. We called Dirk from the pre-arranged spot on the road, and just as we pulled into the train station a big old and sort of battered Land Rover pulled in beside us. Out of it stepped a tall, ruggedly handsome man of a mature age (think an older Indiana Jones type) who started walking toward me. 'Susan?' he asked. 'Dirk?' I replied. Then he swept me into an extravagant, MGM type of embrace.

Now make no mistake and don't misconstrue this story - Dirk was married to a lovely woman whom he absolutely adored. I am more happily married than most to the most wonderful man in the world - and he was standing not ten feet away from us. But... that enthusiastic hug in the dusty parking lot of a small-town train station in Egypt is STILL one of the most romantic moments in my lifetime, and I will always remember it fondly.

Our stay at Elkab was magical and much much too short. The crew was welcoming, helpful and a great deal of fun. After we went home Dirk and I stayed in contact by email - not as much as perhaps we should have been, but then we had no idea that time was so short. We had begun to play with the idea of doing a mystery with him as the sleuth - but only after he retired. We had talked about it when A KILLING AT EL KAB was in the inception stages, but I didn't want to risk casting any kind of a shadow on his excellent reputation as an archaeologist and a scholar... but I did want him in the book. So, he became the only 'real' person featured in the book, but only in two quick appearances. Now the Dirk-as-sleuth idea in a future book is permanently retired, as I couldn't do it without him.

One final, bittersweet note. On Sunday I received a sweet email from Dirk's wife, telling me how much he enjoyed A KILLING AT EL KAB and asking permission to use my description of him in the book at his memorial service. I don't mind telling you that made me weep, and of course I gave my permission. Her request is a lovely tribute to both of us.

We always think we will do whatever-it-is tomorrow, but sometimes it is brought forcibly on us that we are never guaranteed a tomorrow. So - embrace your friends, tell you family that you love them, do what is important to you today. Sometimes there is no tomorrow.

RIP, Dawn Charles.

RIP, Dr. Dirk Huyge.

The world is poorer for your absence.

You Want Us To Do What?

by Janis Susan May/Janis Patterson

I’m distressed. Not long ago I went to lunch with a well-known publicist. We all want lots of sales, and anything that helps sell books is all to the good, right?

Now I’m not sure. The more I listened to the publicist, the more distressed I became. With the energy of a televangelist she spoke of how in order to be noticed a writer had to Tweet several times a day, Facebook just as often, join and participate in several new social media groups (as one never knew which one would turn into the next Facebook), grow a mailing list for regular newsletters, attend at least one book club (but several were better) both in person and online in order to get to meet readers, do readings and signings and all manner of public appearances, have an interesting and up-to-date website… Oh, and you’re supposed to have a blog – or several – which you update regularly and often, as well as guest blog. Blog tours are also recommended.

Then she got really depressing and predicted that within a very few years we wouldn’t be selling books at all – that all content would be free, like movies and tv are free on the internet today. (I haven’t seen any actors, actresses or producers working for free lately, though, and I doubt if many professional writers want to either.) When asked how we would make our money, she gleefully announced, “Through marketing!” Yes, we’re supposed to sell mugs and tote bags and God-only-knows-what, each with a tie-in to our books and characters. Apparently some writers are already doing this, but there was no explanation of when they found time to write, let alone lead a life or be with their family.

That’s when I tuned out, totally overwhelmed. We’re supposed to do all that? And write, too? To say nothing of dealing with real life, such as emergencies, family obligations and even the constant necessities of the dishwasher and the laundry…

Most writers have families, and jobs, and obligations. And, yes, they have to write. Most writers I know are already stretched to the max. No writer of whom I am aware sits around on a chaise eating bon-bons and wondering how they will fill the empty hours since they finished their last opus. In fact, I venture to say most of us barely get done what is already necessary.

So where is all the extra time going to come from for us to tweet and FB and attend all those book club meetings and gather every reader we meet into the fold of personal friendship? My days are full, but I’m selfish – I like getting at least five hours sleep a night, and that’s just about the only time I’m not busy.

Another, equally vocal, camp says that we should all be self-publishing, that self-publishing is the best way to gain fame and fortune. Well, I’m self-published and if this is fame and fortune…! I know that there are authors making bazillions of dollars from self-pubbing, and I know there are other authors with equally good books who even after several months have not yet made back their expenses. Most of us fall somewhere in between. Whatever the financial rewards, self-pubbing just adds to the workload. Now you not only must deal with edits, you have to find and hire the editor. Same with the cover and the artist, as well as the translator if you decide to publish in foreign languages. A lot of authors do their own formatting for the various vendors – more time gone! Then, once the book is out, you must deal with any legal matters that crop up – copyright questions, piracy takedown notices, excerpts – and before you know it, an entire morning or even a day is gone and not a word written.

Everything I’ve mentioned, from formatting to laundry, can be hired out or, if you have helpful children or a supportive spouse, handed over to them. If you do hire someone that becomes self-defeating in a way and can backfire badly. You can pay a virtual assistant to tweet and FB and Instagram and whatever for you, but if part of your goal is to be a friend to your reader, how is that friend going to feel when they find out (and they will, believe me, they will) that the lovely personal notes and friendly posts you’ve been making to your fan friends have been done by a hireling?

If there was one thing this marketing guru harped on, it was personal contact between the author and the reader. “Make the reader your friend,” she crooned; “go to places where you can meet the readers.” Now instead of writing, we are supposed to join book clubs – both physical and on-line, where the readers can get to know us as a person and regard us as a friend. We are supposed to start street teams, where our fans publicize for us and we reward them with advance books, goodies and our attention. “Stay in contact with your readers – always answer any communication you receive from a reader/friend. Talk about your personal life instead of your working life when you blog. Be open. Be receptive. Keep them appraised of what you’re doing.”

Why? Why force or feign a friendship where one doesn’t spring naturally? We all know about some readers who want to have a personal relationship with their favorite authors – not just because they admire their work, but because being ‘friends’ with a real author somehow makes some of the glamour rub off on them. I don’t understand that particular line of reasoning, but I know it exists, sometimes to the point of dangerous stalking. Most people don’t need to be friends with someone in order to appreciate their talent or artistry. I have met readers and a few of them have become friends, but it is because of whatever magic that makes two people become friends no matter how they meet, not because I want to hang their scalp from my belt as a fan. To treat every fan you meet as a special friend is really doing them a disservice, for while everyone can be friendly, friendship is special. I do believe in friendliness and politeness to all readers, but not the cold-blooded stalking of them for fans.

And for that matter, where did this position of ‘you have to make friends of your readers’ start? As far as I am concerned, readers becoming friends isn’t part of the professional equation. Writers write books. Readers read books. That’s all either should expect, other than the common courtesies that are part of a civilized society.

So, I ask again, where is the time for all this involvement and friendliness supposed to come? I guess it would work well for someone who has written a single book, maybe two, and is doing nothing but trying to sell them. For the rest of us, we have to have time to write. It has never made sense that readers expect you to be their best friend and still have you write X number of books a year.

There are jokes about writers working in an empty room filled with imaginary people. They’re funny, yes, but they also underscore that writing is at heart a very solitary business. Some writers dream of a quiet room where they can be alone with their computer and their stories for hours and hours, but I also know many writers who write best in a crowded coffee shop, or who turn out scene after scene in the dentist’s waiting room or while at their daughter’s soccer practice or even sitting with the family in front of the TV at night. I applaud them for writing whatever their personal process is, but wherever they sit while putting down words, writing is still a solitary business. No matter how many people are around, writing still boils down to just the writer and the words and the people in that writer’s head.

Just the writer and words – and it take time and concentration to get those words, to make a story come alive and touch people. On my computer I have a little saying that I read every morning before starting work – “Write, don’t talk.” Originally it meant that a story should be written and not talked to death being shared with all and sundry, but it fits just as well to mean one should be writing instead of chatting with friends. Beside that phrase is another one, “Writing is easy – all you do is stare at a blank screen until drops of blood fall on your forehead.”

Good writing is work, and like all work, takes time. There has to be a balance between writing the books and publicizing them. I think the majority of a writer’s time should be spent writing the best book she can. And another. And another. Writers should write, and readers should read. That’s the equation.

They Get Me! Why my Writer Friends are Important

Dorothy Parker had the Algonquin Roundtable. The fictional character Richard Castle has his famous poker buddies. Just like those two iconic literary figures I have a close circle of writer friends that I consider my pals and confidants. Occasionally if our schedules allow we even get to hang out together in person. A few of them have been with me since the infancy of my career. They’ve known me since long before I became a published author. They’ve been with me through my thin and thick waistline, have weathered countless rejections and celebrated my first and subsequent sales. They know my family and I consider them my extended family. We are roommates at conferences and co-presenters at workshops. These same women also give me the kick in the pants I need when a writing slump hits or when I received that one particularly painful rejection and dramatically sob how I can’t go on. They are my cheerleaders.

And don’t we all need a cheerleader every now and again?

Writing is one of the most solitary careers out there. Days can go by when I swear I don’t speak to anyone other than my characters. It’s wonderful to know that when I turn on my laptop and head out to the internet that through any social media outlet I can connect with another writer. But nothing beats seeing them in person. Some of my friends I only get to see once or twice a year while attending conferences and writing retreats.  A handful of others I’m lucky enough to enjoy a cup of tea or a three hour lunch with.

Though I don’t have a name as auspicious as the Algonquin Roundtable for my circle of writing friends, I still depend on them to keep me sane. But more importantly I appreciate and love them for sticking with me all these years and I look forward to many more years of friendship and support. I want each and every one of them to know how much I cherish them. Oh and maybe I’ll start calling them Tracey’s Team! Just kidding…

An Amazon Top Ten bestselling historical romance author, Tracey sold her first book on 9/9/99! Tracey’s books have been translated into several languages. She has appeared on the award winning Cox Cable Television show, Page One and at the famous Lady Jane’s Salon in NYC. She holds membership in Romance Writers of America, American Christian Fiction Writers, and Novelists Inc. Tracey also writes women’s fiction contemporary romance.  You can learn more about Tracey and her books by visiting her websites at www.traceylyons.com or www.traceysorel.com.