A World Full of Sharks

by Janis Susan May/Janis Patterson

An acquaintance of a friend just published her very first book. Now normally that would be a cause for rejoicing. Instead I wish it had never happened – at least, not like this.

I’m not going to give any details, mainly because I don’t want to embarrass her any more than she already is, and because I don’t want to get sued or targeted by the so-called publisher. Somehow it seems that the less savory a publisher is, the more litigious they are.

The story is one that is all too common today. A newbie writer finished her first book and sought a publisher. Any seasoned writer will tell you it’s hard to get picked up by a reputable publisher. Lots of them – usually the traditional ones – won’t even look at a writer without an agent. Nowadays even the better epubs only take a tiny percentage of the submissions they receive.

Unfortunately too many times newbie writers will grab at anything that calls itself a ‘publishing company.’ They are so bedazzled by the perceived glamour of becoming a ‘published author’ they don’t do their due diligence. They are just so glad to be offered a contract that it seems they don’t question anything the publishing company… and everything should always be questioned, even with the most venerable of traditional publishers. There always seems to be a lot of these predatory and/or incompetent outfits out there, just lying in wait, trolling for newbies with stars in their eyes.

Of course, part of the blame falls on the newbie author. There are ways of checking out publishers – websites, fora, other authors, etc. Also, since this was a romance, the romance writers community is incredibly generous with their knowledge and would willingly have given this newbie advice. There are so many more pitfalls now than there were when I first began writing, but there are also so many more resources. I never met nor was even in the same room with another romance writer until after I had sold two books (to a major house, I might add); this was at the first organizational meeting of what would eventually become Romance Writers of America.

You were lucky, I can hear people saying. You’re a professional. How would she know to check such things? Who can be expected to do such dull old business-type stuff when her dream of publication is about to come true?

That’s when my ears turn red and my blood pressure begins to rise. Who is expected to do dull old business stuff? Who? Everyone! Writing is a business. Writing is a very hard business, and the writing of the book is the easiest part.

In these days of shrinking to non-existent advances and diminishing marketing support from even the most sterling of publishers, the author is expected to do more and more of the work – for which she still receives the smallest part of the pie. Some legitimate publishers even suggest that a writer pay on their own to have a book professionally edited before submitting. Some publishers won’t look at anything that doesn’t come through an agent, effectively using the agent as a first reader. Some publishers expect the writer to format their manuscript to their specifications before they will even look at it, let alone make an offer. Some publishers – like this charming specimen who signed the newbie – expect the writer to do everything. This one told the writer that she was responsible for handling – and paying for – all her own publicity. He dropped this bomb the week before her book was to be released. No guidelines, no suggestions, no support – just ‘it’s your responsibility.’

Small wonder that the world of self-publishing is burgeoning. Self-publishing is an incredible amount of work (I can attest to that!) but I feel if you’re going to be doing most of the work yourself, you might as well reap the rewards of it and get the lion’s share of the income. But that’s just me. Publishing is a business, and self-publishing is even more so. The allure of being taken on by a publisher is so much more seductive, especially to starry-eyed newbies. After all, you’ll have parties and signings and interviews and tv spots and… Yeah. In your dreams.

And in their dreams is where most of these gullible newbies begin. They’re published! A publisher has actually agreed to take their book! The publisher has a website, one that extolls how great they are, so they must be legit, right? I can understand the lure, the glamor, the pure b*llsh*t put out by these predatory publishers dazzling a newbie who has been so entranced by the glowing dream of being a Published Author that the cold hard reality of what publishing really is cannot penetrate.

So what is to be done about this? There are no uniform standards of what make a legitimate and desirable publisher, enforceable or not. Unfortunately, anyone can put up a website and call themselves a publisher. Lately even some of the ancient and venerable publishing houses have been coming up with some pretty hinkey clauses in their contracts. Just because they are ancient and venerable doesn’t mean they can’t be as rapacious and manipulative as the brand-new-website rip-off artist.

One thing that every writer must always remember is that money flows to the writer. Anyone asks you for money – or an investment – or subsidies – RUN! Ask for the names of other writers with the company – and contact them. Check the watchdog sites like Preditors&Editors and Writer Beware. Ask other writers. Ours is a small and close-knit community; very little happens here that someone doesn’t know about. Seek and investigate and learn before you sign anything.

In other words, don’t feed the sharks.

UPDATE : Since my last column my publishing binge has been going according to plan. THE FAIR AMAZON, a traditional Regency romance, was released on 15 July and is doing well.

More exciting – at least to me – is THE JERUSALEM CONNECTION, a new contemporary romantic adventure suspense, released on 30 July. This is a special book to me, mainly because years ago I worked in Jerusalem on a film for over three months, and some of the adventures the heroine of this book has actually happened to me in real life. (And no, I’m not saying which!)

Classic, Cozy & Cunning

We've all read books set in different countries, regions, time periods with characters from various ethnic and socio-economic backgrounds. The attempt to capture the sound of speech and cultural nuances is all part of the craft of setting a sense of time and place.

Regional dialects lend authenticity to stories set in specific localities. Regional dialects give authors nightmares and headaches. Regional dialects give readers nightmares and frowns. Walking the narrow line between authenticity and insult is an art. Achieving a sense of place and depth of character without confusion or irritation is an art.

In my most recent endeavor, the novel-by-installment, Nights Before, I returned to my childhood home state, Maine. I had been working on an historical novel set in a small town in Oxford County, and was inspired then to write a contemporary romance as well. I had clear visions of the streets of Portland from childhood and more recent visits, but it is the Maine accent that distinguishes the sense of place more than the images of snow and falling leaves. The whole of the Northeast can boast the brilliant colors of Fall and the quiet of a snow-blanketed scene. Only Mainers talk like Mainers. 

I was born into a family of native Mainers, I remain one myself though I've lived far away for most of my life. When I began this book-by-installments, I wanted to pay tribute to that distinctive way of speech, but, except for a few vague recollections of my mother saying 'cunning' or the proverbial 'down the rod apiece' and 'ya cahn't get theah from heah,' my Maine vocabulary was sadly lacking. 

I realized I had to research my first language!

Fortunately, there are Internet sites for that. I went to several, including How to Talk Like a Mainer which was a lot of fun and reminded me of all I'm missing here on the West Coast. And I realized that the Maine accent is a serious topic for wide discussion. There is something about the way we talk that fascinates those who don't — or I'm just putting a proud face on what the rest of the English-speaking world thinks is plain 'odd'. 

In any case, I had to get it right. The more I went through the pronunciations and the vocabulary, I heard the words in my head, spoken as they had been spoken by my parents and siblings before the great exodus to the other side of the country. They came more easily from my own lips. Ayuh is now my first response in the affirmative and has started to spread to other members of my west coast family. And as I developed the dialogue in the first story of the novel, I went all out.

Howevah, too much of a good thing spoils the affect. Here's an example: 
“Sure. Take it easy goin’ over tah Rosemont. The road’s open now, but I’ve heard theah’s a dip where theah weren’t one.”

Easy enough to read, but what if I'd written it like this: "Shu-ah. Take it easy goin' ovah tah Rosemont. The rod's open now, but Ah've hehd they-ah's a dip whey-ah they-ah wehn't one."

Not as easy. In Elements of Style, Strunk & White make it clear that an over abundance of apostrophes and colloquial spelling curtail the flow of reading. Giving a hint of a different dialect is desirable on all accounts relating to the senses of authenticity, place, time, character, personality. In this novel, I distinguish between native Mainers and those 'from away' or who've been away or have abandoned their roots. 

Although I will never knowingly abandon my accent, the ability to talk like a Mainah fades, returning only when I write like a Mainah and I have to admit, I'm wicked glad I've had the opportunity.

Here is a taste of the vocabulary in these stories: 

• bug - lobster
• cunnin' - cute, sweet
• finest - term of endearment, the best
• wicked - very