Romance and Television

by Sierra Donovan

I'm not a weekly-TV-series type of viewer. My husband and I are much more likely to pop in a movie when we settle in on the couch at night. But with the growth of Netflix and the phenomenon of “binge watching” – largely by my two kids who live at home – I've gotten familiar with some recent series.

I've found that situation comedies have changed a lot since the days of “The Mary Tyler Moore Show,” when the situations and characters changed very slowly over the course of seasons, if they changed at all. Now there's a lot more story progress over the course of even a single season. It's a great opportunity for character and relationship development.

Surprise! Romance figures into this, because a lot of central plots have to do with romantic relationships. Will this couple end up together … or not?

SPOILER ALERT for Netflix viewers: shield your eyes if you haven't seen all of “The Office” or the first six seasons of “Parks and Recreation.”

These two series get it right. There's a lot of anticipation and expectation built on key relationships. Then the writers go on to affirm what they've made us believe in our bones: Jim and Pam belong together. Ben and Leslie belong together. The characters are written consistently and believably, even through moments of doubt. And ultimately, and the writers deliver on our expectations.

Now, let's talk for a minute about “How I Met Your Mother,” and why I think this one gets it wrong.

I haven't seen how this series ends. But I do know last year's season finale had viewers screaming. Even without having seen it, I'm pretty sure I can tell you why.

If ever a series was built on expectation, it's this one. It's in the very title. We're teased from Day One that we're building toward the revelation of Ted finding his true love.

Writers, you set your audience up for disappointment.

You promised a payoff, but we keep being told Mom is NOT any of the characters we're watching now. She's going to be someone we haven't invested in. What are the odds that the viewers are NOT going to be disappointed in the outcome?

An even worse sin, in my opinion: time and again, the series set us up to anticipate a relationship between one couple or another. Usually the buildup is very well done. The characters spend months out of a season yearning for each other, longing for each other, just missing each other. And then, when the two people do get together, it's usually – PFFFT! – over within a couple of episodes. After that, the much-anticipated couple goes back to interacting pretty much the same way they did before all that longing ever started. What is this, partial amnesia?

No, it's inconsistency. I think the series tried to break ground by flying in the face of viewers' expectations. I think what it did, instead, was tease the viewers, then contradict what it had told us about the characters. I can't address the finale, but from season to season, the series repeatedly went back on its promises.

Romance fiction is often criticized for being predictable. Yes, the couple gets together, as promised. Just as, in a murder mystery, the killer is discovered. As promised.

In real life, we're not promised happy resolutions. In fact, we're not promised resolutions at all. This is where fiction is different. We go in expecting that the story will reach a satisfying resolution. Depending on the genre, that ending may or may not be happy, but it needs to satisfy. It needs to be consistent with the author has told us. It needs to keep its promise.

In Praise of the One Word New Year Resolution

by Victoria M. Johnson

Before I give you the secret to the one word resolution, lets take a sympathetic look at how difficult others make the task of setting annual New Year's resolutions :-)

The USA.gov website lists the thirteen most popular resolutions Americans make.  Number one is to lose weight, and number two is to volunteer to help others.  Click here to see the other popular resolutions in America.

Statistic Brain is a website of statistics, percentages, rankings, and all things numbers.  They site that a mere 8% of people who make resolutions are successful in achieving them! People in their twenties have a 39% rate of success compared to people over 50 who achieve at 14% rate. 

And Forbes has a piece about making your New Year's resolutions stick. The author, Amy Morin, gives four keys to help.  I like number two: Believe You Can Do It, where she talks about reducing negative thinking. Click here to read her article.

According to Business Insider, there are even apps to help people accomplish New Year's resolutions. Each of the five apps they highlight are for a specific resolution such as wanting to reduce stress or learn a new language.  The idea is that whatever your resolution, you might find an app to help you achieve it.  Click here to read their piece.

I should say I'm not against writing a long list of resolutions or goals each year.  But I've found this one word method really kept me focused and centered.  It's a daily reminder--or however often you want to look at it--of what matters to you.  The one word does not cause stress.  There aren't lists of items to check off.  There's no guilt as the months progress.  There's no time required to read through lists, adjust goals, cross off items, or add new items.  The one word needn't require a "to do" rather the one word can invoke a "to be" where you can easily identify if you are or are not being this word. 

I learned about the one word approach at a New Year's brunch with a few dear writer friends at a time in my life when I was incredibly overwhelmed and I didn't have the energy to create a list of goals.  But I could resolve to be one word.  That was about all I could handle.  Now looking back I see that my one word goal was so simple that it was both achievable and inspiring.  The trick is selecting the one word that truly represents your most important goal. Here are some examples: productivity, organize, appreciate, balance, discover, fearless, flexible, and declutter.  Here's one I wish a friend of mine would adapt: No.  She says yes to everyone and has little time left for herself or her writing.  Writers might pick a word like: prioritize or diversify.  Last year my word was: submit.  It helped me focus on a weakness, which was to write and edit pieces, but never spend time researching markets or submitting my work.  And last year, with this one-word goal, I had the most submissions, rejections, and acceptances, in my career. My word for next year should be sleep, since I didn't get much of it.  Instead my word for next year is thrive.  When I'm presented with an invitation or opportunity I can ask myself, will this activity help me thrive?  Then I can decide if I want to accept it or not.  If you're one who enjoys writing several New Year's resolutions, go for it.  Then see if you can find one word that sums up the most important ones.  And tell us your word for the new year in the comments below.

Victoria M. Johnson knew by the time she was ten that she wanted to be a writer.  She loves telling stories and she's happiest when creating new characters and new plots.  Avalon Books and Montlake Romance published Victoria's fiction debut, The Doctor’s Dilemma, (A 2012 Bookseller’s Best double finalist).  Her other fiction book is a collection of romance short stories titled, The Substitute Bride, and a novella, Hot Hawaiian Christmas. She is also the writer and director of four short films and two micro documentaries.   Visit Victoria's website at http://VictoriaMJohnson.com for inspiration and tips and find her Amazon author page or connect with her on Facebook, Pinterest and Twitter.

Your Face is Gonna Stick Like That: Forming New GOOD Habits

by Sofie Couch

I am taking the liberty to dub this, 2015, “The Year of Good Habits”. Who says it’s the “year of good habits”? I do. It is my decree. There was no act of Congress, (and heaven knows they couldn't get it off the ground), so without further preamble... (drum roll, please)… “2015 is THE YEAR OF GOOD HABITS!!!!”

And look at me getting it off to a great start by writing my blog days before it’s due!

Woman Reading a Letter, Gerard ter Borch

I’ve been reading a lot about healthy habits, and one thing keeps recurring: it’s easier to start, than to stop. Do not let your face get stuck like that. So this is my focus. I hope, every month, to present to you, one healthy new habit, some hints on how to establish it, and a personal progress report. Nothing flashy. Baby steps. And we'll just see where we land by the end of the year.

And for the month of January, I'm promoting two new habits: HYDRATION and daily reading. What, you ask, does that have to do with Sweet Romantic Comedy - the stuff i write? Well, I plan to make reading a major ingredient in the secret sauce for successful habit formation.

21 Days Myth

There are a lot of promoters out there of the "it takes 21 days to form a habit" school of thought. I was all set to promote the myth when some reading on the subject suggested that the 21 day method is great for side-bar articles in cheesey women's magazines, but doesn't come with a lot of peer-reviewed evidence. Instead, some other habit forming motifs began to come to light. Habits come about as a result of Quotas and Goals, Visualization/Planning, Looking Back v. Looking Forward, and Mindfulness. (All of this, I heavily paraphrased from http://www.sparringmind.com/good-habits/ as well as other sites and articles discussing habit formation.)

Quotas and Goals

They may seem, on the surface, like they're the same thing, but think of it as a size issue. Quotas are the baby steps that lead you to goals. Goals are the big picture. (My goal for this month is to drink a glass of water before and after every meal and two more besides  while simultaneously rewarding myself by reading a novel (or two or three) by one of my favorite Sweet Romantic Comedy Authors. My quota is to drink 8 glasses of water per day. More on quotas in a bit.)

Visualization/Planning

It's the reason those cola ads are so effective. You are shown a picture of an ice, cold glass of Xola. You hear the phfttt of the pop-top. You hear the glug, glug, glug. You see the Xola being poured from a can into a glass of ice - the sort of ice that's really fun to crunch. (Stop salivating.)

I have set up a special Pinterest page in which I'm posting the imagery for my monthly goal - reading and hydrating this month. I hope you enjoy it and feel free to follow any of my other pin-boards. (Gotta love Pinterest). It's all geared toward visualizing -  a cool mountain stream, your water conveyance of choice - glass, canteen, your own two hands... Turning on the kitchen tap and cold well water, a jug of filtered water if you live in a city. Ice or no ice? Which novel will I keep at the ready for reading while I drink my water?

Young Woman Reading a Letter, Jean Raoux

Planning - it's really important if that new habit requires more than turning on the tap. So if you like your water with a twist of lime, plan ahead and buy your limes, slice'em and stick'em in the freezer. No excuse for not having your glass of water with a little planning. Plot a course for always keeping a novel on hand as well. (I have more than a couple stored on my e-reader.)

Looking Back vs. Looking Forward

That's important in everything. It's like the difference between making a "to-do" list every day and feeling a failure when you don't accomplish everything on your list, rather than looking back over the course of your day and making a list of everything you did accomplish. Looking back creates a win-win situation. But doesn't this negate the aforementioned quotas? Well, kinda. Those quotas are a a suggestion, but I'm not gonna beat myself up over not getting in all 8 glasses.. Even if you forgot to drink your 8 glasses of water, you can look back over the course of the day and revel in your success in having consumed 6 glasses of water, swallowed a bunch at the pool, and the couple of gulps you got when you turned your face up in the shower. S'all good. And 64oz. of water per day is probably insufficient for a person of my, er, girth, so more is good. A glass before and after every meal is a quota. Eight glasses is my goal. Looking back allows me to celebrate what I actually accomplished.

Mindfulness

Girl and Boy with a Bladder, William Tate

This is the reward part of the habit. When you drink your glass of water, it helps to be mindful of what you're doing, how you're doing it, and all that the habit is doing for you. Hydrating improves the look of your skin, burns fat more efficiently, detoxifies your body, etc. It reinforces that habit as a positive thing that is worth repeating. Pretty soon, you begin to associate the habit with positive thoughts. And for me, drinking water is going to be further rewarded by reading a little bit of one of my favorite Sweet Romantic Comedy authors with each glass consumed. 

Progress Report:

I drank three glasses of water while writing this blog! And now that my quota is met, I'm going to reward myself by settling down with one of my favorite authors, a glass of water on the bedside table, and a very full... oops. Gotta run!