With Father’s Day next weekend, I
couldn’t let the opportunity pass without saying something about our dads.
I want to share a few memories I
have of some special men in my life starting with my father. My
dad was from
the generation where men left the housework and raising the children to the
mother. He was a fisherman, a hard worker who shrimped at night and slept
during the day, so my brother and I didn’t see him as much as we would’ve
liked. On summer Sundays, however, he’d make sure the boat was clean and he
would take the family and our friends out to the islands. Those days made up
for all the tip-toeing around the house while he slept. I have wonderful
memories of Dad and Mom sitting on his boat overseeing everything and getting
the food ready (homemade fried chicken and potato salad) as the children swam and played.
I realized that all men did not
leave the childrearing up to the mother alone. I spent many days with one of my
aunts and uncle. It was here at their home that I realized men actually helped take
care of the little ones. When he was home, my Uncle Jimmy helped with the
everyday tasks of raising their children. I’m sure throughout the ages men have
done that, but it never occurred to me until I watched my uncle. He’s no longer
with us, but when I think about him today I think about those small moments between him and his children that probably
went unnoticed to anyone else.
Today it takes two to raise
children. My eldest son took on the responsibilities of helping with his one
baby from the moment they brought him home. Both of my sons helped to raise their sons and helped
around the house. Does it make men any less of a man to do things like change
diapers, toss a ball to his son, or mop a floor or iron a shirt? Absolutely
not. I think it makes a man more of a man.
And I can’t end this without
mentioning my husband. Living with someone for almost forty-seven years and raising
two sons together make for some wonderful memories, but it’s the memories of
him spending time with our boys that bring me the most joy today. Maybe our
sons learned from him because today all my men cook and press their clothes and
help around the house. (Yes, I do iron as well. In fact, I love to iron.)
Happy Father’s Day to all the men
in your life. If you have a special memory to share, I’d love for you to
comment so we can all enjoy it.
FRAN MCNABB lives
with her husband on a quiet harbor bayou along the Gulf Coast. She always says
that her fictional heroes all have a little bit of her husband in them. Now she
can say that since her sons are grown, they too have contributed to the heroic qualities
in her novels. Check out her tender romances on her website www.FranMcNabb.com or contact her at mcnabbf@bellsouth.net. She loves to hear from her readers.
Hi Fran--
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you and your husband raised fine young men. I, too, am blessed with a husband who helped from day one with raising our babies. He also cooks occasionally and has always done some household chores. I think these tasks make him very sexy!
Victoria--
Victoria, thanks for dropping in and, yes, we are lucky to have such great men in our lives.
DeleteFran, my memories of my father are very much like yours. My dad was old-school, but loving in his own way. I remember when my brothers or I had a sore throat he would stop on his way home from work to get a Hershe bar for us. Not the most healthy thing I guess, but it was soothing to throats and good for the soul. Much as I love my dad and treasure my memories of him, I'm glad my husband is more hands-on with the kids and our sons have followed his example.
ReplyDeleteSandy, it's nice to know others feel the same way about their fathers even though they were not the Mr. Moms of their generation. Thanks for dropping in.
DeleteMy mother was crippled with arthritis in her twenties. I was born when she was almost forty. Daddy had to help with the older ones, but my older siblings filled the role for me. Considering he was a hard-working farmer (Memories of the Sharecropper's Family), I could see his care of the grandchildren in more of a similar role. The first time I left without our older daughter, he was the sitter. She had a BM--he handled with great grace: adding water to the bathtub, then swishing her back and forth!
ReplyDeleteAlthough Father's Day has passed, I want to pay tribute to my father. He was a very capable, intelligent man but when, after WWII, he could not find work to feed his family, he picked potatoes. Although he could speak several languages, trained young men to be good soldiers, read hundreds of books and could discuss any topic, he risked his life and health to feed, clothe and house us. Men like my father are not rare, but they are undervalued.
ReplyDeleteNice piece! I think today's children are so lucky to have father's who are more involved. I live in the New York City where I see fathers walking their young children to school in the mornings. My husband and I raised our kids in the suburbs and it was up to me, whether I was working or not, to get the kids off to school. I think having fathers involved in the every day parts of a child's life so much enriches it for everyone.
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