When asked to share the story of how my husband
proposed, I always answer, “Repeatedly.”
We were barely kids when we met, 17 and 18 and on
the college campus for the first time, each of us scheduled to see the same
academic adviser during orientation week. Our appointments were ten minutes
apart and scheduled right after lunch. The adviser, perhaps for the only time
in his life, was late in arriving and the rest is family history.
Roger, now my husband of 44 years, made up his
mind quickly. I was a bit tougher to persuade. Although I knew how much I cared
about him, I was unsure of myself. Was I old enough to be thinking of marriage?
I had barely begun dating. I was also unsure of us. Neither of us had
ever lived away from home; what did we know about running a household?
The first time he said, “Marry me,” I said, “Maybe
someday” and that was my answer for most of a year. In October of our sophomore
year when I said yes, it took a moment for the answer to register. Each of us
had begun to believe in the other and in the possibility of “forming a more
perfect union,” but we both found the prospect intimidating.
We were married the following June when I was 19
and he was a month short of his twentieth birthday. His father had to sign a
permission slip for us to get our license.
Do I recommend teen marriage? Not on your life. We
made it work and we’re happy with the outcome, but I won’t pretend it was easy.
Determined to complete our education, we graduated on the same day. There’s a
picture of the two of us in our caps and gowns, a toddler on his lap and a baby
bump on mine.
I eventually went on to earn a graduate degree. We
both established careers while at the same time building our family. It worked.
Still, when our eighteen-year-old high school senior eldest came to us with the
announcement that he and his girlfriend were planning to marry the month after
he graduated, we did our best to discourage them. We knew what an uphill battle
they were facing.
We joke that we raised each other, but it isn't really a joke. Though there were rough times, our bond was real and our commitment solid. One day a few years ago, I was at lunch with girlfriends, both of whom were speaking of "my second husband" or "my third marriage." I told them I had also had three marriages but only one husband; we keep renewing our contract as our lives change.
We joke that we raised each other, but it isn't really a joke. Though there were rough times, our bond was real and our commitment solid. One day a few years ago, I was at lunch with girlfriends, both of whom were speaking of "my second husband" or "my third marriage." I told them I had also had three marriages but only one husband; we keep renewing our contract as our lives change.
This July, our eldest and his bride will celebrate their Silver
Anniversary two months after their eldest, at the age of twenty-three, is
married to his own young sweetheart. It seems young marriages run in our family
and, so far, they’re run very well.
Maybe we've been lucky. Maybe we've been well tutored; Golden Weddings run in both our families. No, I wouldn't recommend young marriage, but for the right couples, they can be some of the sweetest of all.
Maybe we've been lucky. Maybe we've been well tutored; Golden Weddings run in both our families. No, I wouldn't recommend young marriage, but for the right couples, they can be some of the sweetest of all.
That's so sweet. It's nice to see two kids in love sometimes know they're meant for each other and can make it work.
ReplyDeleteLove this, Susan. Your family seems to have figured out the "happily-ever-after" secret. Congratulations!
ReplyDeleteWhat an uplifting story, Susan! My best to both of you, and the entire family family, for that matter.
ReplyDeleteLovely story, Susan. A bit similar to my own since my husband I also got married while still in college...though we were both a bit closer to graduation. It's worked out very well for us.
ReplyDeleteHi Susan--
ReplyDeleteCongratulations to you and your husband on 44 years! It seems you are the perfect role models for the young couples in your family.
Victoria--