An Author’s Thanksgiving

By Karen McCullough

I think there’s some kind of unwritten rule that November blog posts in the U.S. have to be about being thankful--and, really, that’s a good thing! Cultivating gratitude as a top-of-the-mind trait is something we should all do and it’s great we have a special time of year to remind us to do so. I’m more disappointed than I can tell you that retailers are turning a beautiful holiday into a gateway to the profligate spending money for Christmas season, the antithesis of what Thanksgiving should mean.

But anyway, back to gratitude. I firmly believe that gratitude isn’t something you do. It’s one of the most important underpinnings of how you live your life. It’s an attitude that everything you are and everything you have is a gift. It means taking nothing for granted.

With that in mind, I want to take a slightly different slant and talk about some things I’m thankful for, strictly in my capacity as an author. Some of these may be controversial, so feel free to disagree in the comments. Here are some of them:

Computers and word processing software – I’m old enough that back when I was in college all my term papers and theses were produced on a typewriter. I developed into a fairly speedy typist, but not a very accurate one. The typewriter I used was old enough that when you messed up, you had to either use that messy white-out stuff or just retype the whole page. I shudder to think how many times I would’ve had to retype each of my book manuscripts to get a reasonably clean copy.

The freedom to write what I want – I’m grateful to live in a country where I have the freedom to write pretty much whatever I choose. But let me be clear, freedom to write whatever I want doesn’t absolve me of responsibility for my words. I can write what I want, but the rest of the world has the right to object to my words, to refuse to buy my books, and to write scathing reviews. They can sue me if those words are stolen from someone else (something I’d never do, by the way), or hold me responsible if someone uses my words as inspiration to commit a crime. (I like to think my books are inspirational but not that way!)

The ability to travel for research and inspiration – I love travel and it inspires me with ideas for stories, settings, and characters.  And several of us here on this blog have talked about the importance of getting details right in your settings. There are some substitutes for actually visiting a place, but none will give you the richness of detail of the actual experience.

Libraries – As a kid, I hung out in libraries as much as I could. I loved to read, and I loved to research odd facts, pursuing all sorts of information. I don’t go as much as I used to, but it still gives me joy to be in a library. Usually when my grandkids are visiting, we’ll take them to the library and let them check out a few books to read during their time here. I love that they regard that as a huge treat. In the early days of my writing each book would require several trips to the library for research purposes. The staff at the research desk knew me and sometimes I could just call to verify a few facts.

Google and Wikipedia -  Google created the first search engine that delivered really accurate results, speedily, and Wikipedia created the first crowd-sourced, comprehensive encyclopedia. I do a lot of my research using them. I don’t take everything I read on the Internet as gospel, but at the very least, the articles I find suggest leads to more authoritative sources. I try to verify everything I learn with another source.

Amazon – I know not everyone will agree with the gratitude here, but Amazon did create the first online bookstore and, let’s face it, that has changed the world. Before Amazon I bought books at the local bookstore, but frequently would find an author I liked and had to go searching through used   Not to mention the time I’ve saved because I can do most of my shopping online and have everything delivered right to my door! That’s more writing time for me!

bookstores to find the rest of the author’s works. Since my taste runs a bit off mainstream, I often had to special order books I wanted and then wait, and wait, and wait some more for them to arrive. And Amazon popularized the ereader. It’s hard to describe what a boon that has been for people like me, with poor eyesight. Now every book can be a large print book! And for the author, the advent of epublishing has meant I can make my backlist available as I get the rights back to my older published books, and also have a chance of putting out those other books that mainstream publishers didn’t want – usually because I crossed too many genre boundaries!

Thankful

This is my frequent opportunity to write about thankfulness close to Thanksgiving, but a first for being able to write about Thanksgiving to be published on the Day itself.

Today, I will be celebrating with my eldest sister and her entire family of children, children of children, and children of children of children! Can there be a better opportunity to be thankful?

I last saw my sister when she visited to help my brother after the death of his wife. I last saw her children, my nephews and niece, when we visited them one gorgeous summer in Maine, when my youngest was five years old and full of spice!

My niece now has her own children who also now have children. Meaning that I have great-grand-nieces and -nephews that I have never met.

Although Thanksgiving is one day in the year, we make some of the most lasting memories with our families and I am hoping that all those little new relations will be a part of my life from this day on.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all, wherever you are celebrating and with whom.

Staying Sane Amid the Frenzy

It’s starting… The holiday frenzy is about to engulf us. I’m not ready. I’m never ready.

Don’t get me wrong.  I love the holidays! I revel in the costumes and fun gew-gaws of Halloween, relish the family get-togethers and great food of Thanksgiving, and sink with joy into Christmas decorations and greetings and gift-giving.

I don’t like the pressure of it and I don’t like the extreme commercialization. I hate the whole Black Friday thing.  You won’t find me venturing anywhere near a shopping mall or a big box store on the Friday after Thanksgiving.  And I really hate, hate HATE the incursion of the shopping frenzy into Thanksgiving day!  It cheapens the whole idea of the holiday.

In fact it seems to me to be the antithesis of what Thanksgiving is supposed to be about. Instead of being grateful for all the many blessings we’ve been given, all those retailers opening on Thursday promote greed and hunger for things we don’t have. Yes, they disguise it as buying gifts for others, but come on…

And then there’s Christmas. I have to find appropriate gifts for so many people. There are cards, decorations, food, parties, and a gazillion other details that need to be handled.  There have been years when I got to the day after Christmas and could nothing but draw a huge sigh of relief that is was over.  And that’s so, so wrong!

Rant over. I feel better now that I’ve got off that my chest. And I’ve decided to focus this year on what I can do about it.

Here are a few things I’m vowing to try this holiday season:

1. Cultivate gratitude. Not just on Thanksgiving day but throughout the season. I’ve been blessed in so many ways. I’m not wealthy, at least not in money or worldly possessions, but I have enough to eat, shelter from the weather, clothing to keep me warm, reasonably good health, and a wonderful family. I want to take a few minutes each day to remember that and to be grateful for all the gifts I’ve been given.

2. Keep it in perspective. The holiday season is supposed to be about what’s best in us: joy, peace, sharing, and showing our love for others. We’re not doing that if we’re stressed out because the to-do list is too long and the expenses bigger than our budgets. I’ll be taking another look at my lists and asking myself about each item – Is this necessary? Am I doing this because it gives me or someone else pleasure? Or am I doing it because everyone says you have to or my mother always did it this way?

3. Simplify. Of course, I have to buy gifts for my children and grandchildren. And my spouse. Do other acquaintances need gifts from me? Does everyone I’ve ever met need to get a Christmas card from me? Does every surface in my home need to be thoroughly decorated? Are there things I can outsource? I’m trying to consider everything and decide why I’m doing it. Does it make me happy? Does it help others? Or is it just something I feel obliged to do?

That’s my plan.

Whatever yours is, I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving (if you’re in the U.S.) and a peaceful, loving, and joyous holiday season!

Thanksgiving and "Dirty Rice"

by Fran McNabb

 

It’s November, but in some stores you’d think it was already Christmas. Shelves are lined with Christmas decorations and trees and toys.

But it’s still November so I wanted to spend my space here thinking about the holiday before Christmas. Thanksgiving is usually a pretty low-keyed holiday except for the cook in the family who has to come up with a menu for the meal, do the shopping and then the cooking. Most families have their own traditions so coming up with the menu is usually not that hard. When I had family close by, I usually did the cooking for everyone after my mother got too old to do it. I’d always say I was going to come up with something new. Never happened. I’d always do the same spread every year.

When I look back at those years, I realize how enjoyable they were, not just because we had a huge meal and way too many desserts, but because the family was together. Now that it’s just my husband and me in town, we travel to one of our sons to spend the holiday with his family. We try to continue some of our traditions, but I want them to create their own as well.

I wanted to share a favorite recipe from our family meals. Seldom did we have a traditional bread dressing with our meal. We usually had mashed potatoes and a rice dressing we called “dirty rice.” If you’ve been in the south Louisiana area, you may have heard of it. My father was Cajun so it was one our Sunday and holiday staples.  I’ll share the recipe below.
What were some of your favorite dishes at Thanksgiving? Do you ever include them in your books?

DIRTY RICE

1 c. vegetable oil                                                                                                                                                  1/2 bell pepper, chopped                                                                                                                                      1 lb. ground meat                                                                                                                                                  1 stalk celery, chopped                                                                                                                                        1 lb. ground pork                                                                                                                                                     1 lg. cooking spoon roux (browned flour)                                                                                                          1 lb gizzards                                                                                                                                                           
1 T. Kitchen Bouquet browning sauce                                                                                                                1/2 t. cayenne pepper                                                                                                                                       1/2 c. green onions, chopped                                                                                                                          Salt and pepper to taste                                                                                                                                        5 c. cooked rice                                                                                                                                                       1 to 2 lg. onions, chopped

 Wash and grind or chop gizzards. Heat oil in large pot and add beef, pork and gizzards. Cook over medium heat until all meats are cooked. Add salt and pepper. Stir occasionally. Add vegetables and simmer until they are soft. Cover with water and cook down until mixture thickens. Add roux if mixture is too thin. Add browning sauce and cook about 1 hour. Add green onions. Cook about five minutes. Mix with cooked rice. TIP: Gravy, without the rice, can be frozen.        

FRAN MCNABB grew up along the Gulf Coast with a Cajun father and a Croatian mother. Fran writes traditional romance and sometimes mentions foods in her stories. Recently she published a cookbook COASTAL COOKING. Visit her at www.FranMcNabb.com or email her at mcnabbf@bellsouth.net        

 

 

 

Scents of the Season

That holiday time of year is upon us again and, even if we weren't aware of the calendar, the aromas in the air would remind us.

Nature starts the process. Here in northern California, some trees still have leaves although the process of "deciduating" has begun. (We have used this term ever since our brilliant five-year-old granddaughter decided to turn the word deciduous into an active verb. Why not? It fits.) The leaves on the ground, spattered by yesterday's light rain, smell like autumn--that light scent of mouldering that, at least in its early stages, is rich and vaguely herbal. While some trees still have leaves, my roses still have flowers which add their scent to the mix while the last of the lavender blossoms chime in, the underlying leaf scent mixed with deep, vivid florals.


This is the rainy season where I live and, this year at least, the weather is cooperating. (I'm secretly holding out hope that this will be the drought-breaker year.) When the breeze picks up, blowing out of the south, the scent of fresh water is in the air. As a side benefit, these mixed-weather days also provide us with heart-breaker sunsets, almost impossibly beautiful.

Holiday baking has begun in my kitchen and elsewhere, adding scents of pumpkin, cinnamon, nutmeg, chocolate, yeasty breads, fresh-ground wheat and citrus. My husband has begun lighting his favorite holiday-scented candles, adding their hints of spice and pine.

Apple pie, the classic all-American favorite, is one of my favorites too, but enough work that I usually reserve its creation for the holiday season, that delightful time of year when the aroma of baking apples mixed with cinnamon and nutmeg fills the kitchen and diffuses through the whole house. Hence the visions of sugar plums that dance in our heads as we sleep.

Of course the stores have to get into the act. Each shop we enter has its own version of holiday scent to share. It's often said that scent is the most evocative of all our senses, calling to mind our past experiences with that same aroma. No wonder this scent-sational season fills me with nostalgia.

As I move through these coming weeks--cooking and baking, humming carols and swimming in nostalgic memory--I will be enjoying the sights of the season, but it's the scents that will bring autumn, Thanksgiving, and Christmas home. I will breathe deeply, smell, and remember with joy.



Susan Aylworth is the author of 14 novels, all available as e-books. She loves her northern California home which she shares with her husband of 46 years and the two spoiled cats they serve. When she can't be with her seven children, seven great kids-in-law, and 25 grandbabies, she loves hanging with her fictional offspring, the children of her mind. She also loves hearing from readers. Visit her website at www.susanaylworth.com or find her @SusanAylworth, at .facebook.com/Susan.Aylworth.Author, or on Pinterest.

Cultivating Gratitude

I don’t know if the old saying that age brings wisdom is true, but the advancing years to seem to bring some deeper level of self-awareness. Is that the same thing? Probably not, but it’s what I’ve got. And now that I’m in my seventh decade of life, there are a few things I’ve realized that seem useful to share.

One of the great revelations of my life was the recognition that no one else could be responsible for my happiness. At one time I was seriously depressed, stuck in a job I hated because my family needed my income, so miserable that I wondered if life really was worth living. And then one day I realized that my family needed a healthy and functioning me more than they needed my income. I took a huge leap of faith and quit the job. Fortunately I found another one that made me much happier in short order.

That incident really brought home to me that I needed to take control of my own life. If things weren’t right, it was up to me make them better as best I could. I couldn’t wait for someone else to tell me to do what I needed to do for myself.

I’ve also learned that in most situations, I have a decision about how I want to view it – glass half empty or glass half full. Some things are irretrievably bad.  I’ve had family members die, pets die, serious illnesses, and other bad events. You go through the grieving process – the denial, the anger, the bargaining, etc. And eventually you accept. You can choose to continue in the grief or you can take a more positive view. It can be hard at times, but there is always something to be learned and gained from even the most awful events.

I’ve spent time I now regret being jealous of people who had things better than I did, people who were richer, more attractive, smarter, or more personable. It irritates me to think of the time I wasted on that.

Now, when I’m tempted by those things, I remind myself of how fortunate I am. By the standards of the U.S., I’m middle middle-class, but by the standards of much of the world, I am rich. I’ve never been completely without food or clean drinking water. My house is warm and water-proof. My clothes don’t have designer labels, but neither are they worn to threads or shreds.

I have family who care for me, and a few good friends. I’ve had some great experiences. In the most important ways, I am rich. I just have to remind myself of that fact every now and again.

How to Carve a Turkey and Other Essential Thanksgiving Tips

by Victoria M. Johnson

Well, it's that time of year when we put away the Halloween decorations and think about the Thanksgiving holiday and our meal plans.  Many of us are busy juggling work and children and other responsibilities and don't stress out over the big dinner until the last minute (two days before Thanksgiving).  Are you one of those who rush to the grocery store only to find gigantic frozen turkeys that need three days to thaw?  Or have you found the right size turkey but your mind is blank on what to serve with it?  There are plenty of details involved in serving a delicious and satisfying Thanksgiving meal, especially if you also have to prepare for guests. 

Fortunately, there are experts out there who are ready with tips and recipes to help us with all those details.  It doesn't matter if this is your first time hosting or if you've run dry from hosting year-after-year.  I've found ideas and inspiration to help make your dinner the best ever.

First things first.  Here's a short video to get you in the mood for turkey.

How to Carve a Turkey

Thanksgiving Side Dishes

For savory dishes like Lemon Pepper Green Beans, Southern Candied Sweet Potatoes, and Holiday Cranberry Sauce head over to the AllRecipes website. 

The Country Living website has ideas for 100 classic Thanksgiving side dishes such as Sweet Potato and Cauliflower Salad, Rosemary Monkey Bread Stuffing, and Apple Walnut Stuffing.

 

Wondering what beverage to serve with your feast?  Not to worry. The New York Times has you covered with this article: 

There Are No Wrong Thanksgiving Wines

Where you'll find insight such as, "Do not worry if you don’t have enough stemware. Thanksgiving is not the time for these sorts of concerns. Serve wine in tumblers, if you like."

Thanksgiving Desert

For dessert, you can't go wrong with pumpkin pie.  Other pies work, too.  But why mess with tradition unless you want to surprise your guests with a scrumptious variation such as Streusel Topped Pumpkin Pie.  Or instead how about wowing them with Pumpkin Spice Donut Holes?

The experts even have recipe ideas for vegan and vegetarian menus.  Just visit the Serious Eats website for tasty options.

  

After all that preparation, cooking, and hosting, you should now sit back, enjoy your friends and family, and most of all, count your blessings.  That's what the holiday is all about.

Victoria M. Johnson knew by the time she was ten that she wanted to be a writer.  She loves telling stories and she's happiest when creating new characters and new plots.  Avalon Books and Montlake Romance published Victoria's fiction debut, The Doctor’s Dilemma, (A 2012 Bookseller’s Best double finalist).  Her other fiction book is a collection of romance short stories titled, The Substitute Bride and a novella, Hot Hawaiian Christmas. She is also the writer and director of four short films and two micro documentaries.   Visit Victoria's website at http://VictoriaMJohnson.com for inspiration and tips and find her Amazon author page or connect with her on Pinterest and Twitter.

It's Pumpkin Season!

by Victoria M. Johnson

At last my favorite time of the year has arrived.  I always wait patiently though summer for fall to arrive.  Sure summer has its benefits, but I prefer walking on the beach, hiking on trails in nature, and entertaining family and friends in the fall. 

In California, summer weather is pretty much the same day in and day out.  I find it boring.  Here's what I most look forward to on those monotonously sunshiny summer days.

Fall is here.

1. Wearing sweaters, hats, scarves, and boots.

2. Rain.  Running in it, walking in it, and observing it through a window from inside.

3. Sitting by a cozy fire.  Appreciating it while reading, or sipping a glass of wine, or contemplating life.

4. Bringing out thick socks and tights.  It's time for crazy combinations to warm the legs while being fashionably unfashionable.

5. Stepping on dry leaves.  A walk on brisk autumn mornings become more pleasant when dry leaves of gold, orange, red and brown are scattered on the sidewalk just waiting to be crunched.

6. Enjoying the fun holidays.  Halloween, Day of the Dead, and Thanksgiving are special and amazing around the Johnson household.  Costumes, decorations, lots of food and lots of beverages... What's not to like about that?

Victoria's famous pumpkin quiche.

7. Pumpkins!  My list would not be complete without praising my all-time favorite vegetable, the pumpkin.  I love to bake with them and I love sampling new ways of eating them.  I'm known for my mini pumpkin pies, quiche, empanadas, and soup.  And who doesn't like pumpkin spiced coffee and tea; or pumpkin bagels, ice cream, seeds, and cheesecake?  But have you tried pumpkin pancakes, pumpkin spaghetti, or pumpkin wine? 

Victoria's tasty pumpkin soup. Yummy.

As you may have guessed, I love pumpkins and I love pumpkin season.  I think I need to grow my own.  In the meantime, fall means I'm out and about, dressed warmly if not crazily, in search of pumpkin festivals and pumpkin patches. 

Wishing you a pleasant fall.  May you encounter plenty of pumpkins!

Victoria M. Johnson knew by the time she was ten that she wanted to be a writer.  She loves telling stories and she's happiest when creating new characters and new plots.  Avalon Books and Montlake Romance published Victoria's fiction debut, The Doctor’s Dilemma, (A 2012 Bookseller’s Best double finalist).  Her other fiction book is a collection of romance short stories titled, The Substitute Bride and a novella, Hot Hawaiian Christmas. She is also the writer and director of four short films and two micro documentaries.   Visit Victoria's website at http://VictoriaMJohnson.com for inspiration and tips and find her Amazon author page or connect with her on Pinterest and Twitter.

Thankful

In two days, Americans all over the world will be celebrating Thanksgiving—a time to gather together with family and friends to acknowledge and give thanks for our great good fortune. This celebration is founded in the tradition of bountiful harvest festivals in earliest societies and formalized within the world’s many faiths to give thanks to their respective Devine Being for the blessings we receive.

We all have people and events in our lives for which we are thankful.

Americans, generally, have an optimistic attitude and a positive vision for ourselves and for our country. Even faced with threats from within and without, we believe we will prevail as a nation.

The writers who contribute to this blog are of that ilk, positive, optimistic, forward-thinking: however you want to label the attitude that leads us to write the happy or hopeful ending, despite the state of the world.

Call us unrealistic but, as so many before us have taught us, “Attitude is Everything.” And the “Power of Positive Thinking” is undeniably more successful than the doom and gloom that has destroyed so many people and nations before us.

Can I be less brave than the characters I create? In my novels, whether I write under my real name or my pen name, Lily Dewaruile, my characters have three goals: to defeat evil, to find a place they can call home and, because I write Romance, find the love for which they are willing to face evil at the cost of losing everything else.

Their bravery is measured by how willing they are to be bold in the face of evil despite their fear of losing their lives or their chance of losing the home they have won, not by their cavalier heroism from a position of strength.

Can I be less brave than all the men and women who have faced evil in the past to ensure that I can call my country home?

This year, I have had the privilege of attending the swearing in of new citizens to the United States. Each of the many thousands who swore an oath to their new country was required to learn basic facts about the way their new country is governed. How many of us can correctly answer any of the 100 questions that new citizens must?

Because we are free, we are at liberty to be complacent about matters that, in too many other countries, mean life or death. Do we have to recite passages from the Constitution or die? Must we kowtow to tyrants or die? Do we have to adhere to any religion or creed or die?  Are we forced to share the opinions of our leaders or die?  

This Thanksgiving, I am thankful that I was born an American and that members of my family have chosen to take the oath of citizenship of this great and beautiful country.

At all of the swearing in ceremonies I attended this year, one of the new citizens has sung The Star-Spangled Banner and a recording of Lee Greenwood’s God Bless the USA was played. I share this link (skip the ad!) because I am proud to be an American and I will “gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today.”


Happy Thanksgiving to you all.

Traditions to Pass Along

For nearly 300 years, Americans have celebrated a family event called Thanksgiving. In countries around the world, some form of ‘thanksgiving’ is celebrated at this time of year - the Fall - in gratitude for a good harvest and a hope for continuing good fortune in the coming darker days of winter. Most of these are linked to religious festivals.

The American version of Thanksgiving is unique because the celebration crosses all ethnic, religious and cultural groups as a family celebration. For many of us, it is a major family get-together, celebrating the creation of this country. Thanksgiving Day became a recognized national holiday in the later part of the 19th Century. During the Amerian Civil War, Abraham Lincoln encouraged Americans to gather together to give thanks for the bounty of our freedoms.

In my family, my mother began her efforts days before the fourth Thursday of the month, making fudge, stuffing dates, decorating the house, ironing table cloths and napkins. We were (and still are) a large family. Until late in her life, my mother was the sole cook, hostess and bottle-washer. We young ones eventually stuffed the dates, mixed the fruit salad, prepared the stuffing (always made from scratch). But Mom was the only one of us who made the Parker House Rolls.

I have never been able to match my mother's rolls, though I have mastered the stuffing and my basted turkeys are well-received. My husband is the king of the stuffed dates and one of my daughters-in-law has conquered the pumpkin pie.

This year, our celebrations will be very different because my husband and I are living far from our family. I know that many of my fellow writers on the Classic and Cozy Books blog are amazing gourmet cooks and have treasured family recipes they may be sharing but I wanted to share one that is always a big hit with adults and children alike.

This is also simple and great for children to participate in the preparations of this wonderful family event.

STUFFED DATES

1 package (or more) of dates (pitted is easier but not necessary: the pits separate from the fruit without much effort)

Cream Cheese, Peanut Butter, Hazelnut Chocolate Butter and/or other favorite creamy spread (Cookie Butter Cream, anyone?)

Open each date and drop a ½ teaspoon or so (personal taste is the final determinant!) of any of the above spreads into the center of the date.

Arrange decoratively on a pretty plate and try to get them to the family before they disappear.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all and best wishes for a joyful Christmas season too.

© 2014 Photographs, Leigh Verrill-Rhys, taken in Wales

A Time for Thanks

by Sandy Cody

It's that time of year again - a little less than a week until Thanksgiving - perhaps our noblest holiday. Why the noblest? Because, for one day at least, we take time to be thankful for the things we have instead of longing for the things we lack.

There's no reason for this holiday except to be thankful. We don't expect anyone to give us a gift. We don't have to shop for a special dress and the perfect shoes to compliment it. All we have to do to honor the day is count our blessings ... oh ... and cook. But even that is pretty easy compared to most special days. There's no agonizing over what to serve. The menu is dictated by tradition. In our house that means turkey with the usual accompaniments, including both pumpkin and pecan pies. It may be something different for your family, but whatever appears on your table is probably consistent from one Thanksgiving to the next. If your family is anything like mine, the mere suggestion of something different is enough to prompt lifted eyebrows and silent, disbelieving stares - certainly not gratitude for trying to add a little originality to the holiday. At best, the response would be: "Thanks, but no thanks."

I guess this wouldn't be a Thanksgiving post if I didn't list at least some of the things for which I am most thankful: my family; my health and the health of the people I love; plenty of food; a warm, comfortable home; freedom to worship, think and speak according to my conscience. I started to write that I know these are the same things for which we are all thankful, but it occurs to me that would not be true. Far too many people lack some or even all of these blessings. If I'm honest, I have to admit that I have these things, at least in part, because of an accident of birth, not because of any special merit on my part. And for that accident, I am most thankful.

This has turned out to be more serious than I intended. Sometimes that just happens. The words take over and spill out serious thoughts.

I hope all of you have a seriously Happy Thanksgiving. May you spend the day surrounded by people you love and may the day be the perfect mixture of serious gratitude and silly laughter.