Save Your Marriage Using Romance Novels

by Victoria M. Johnson

I have been an avid reader of romance novels for years and years.  I suppose you could say that I'm addicted to happy endings.  I have my favorite authors and subgenres of course, but it's always a pleasure discovering new authors and new tips for keeping romance alive.

Tips?  What kind of tips, you ask.

Well, one day I began noticing that authors, through their characters in romance novels, were revealing great relationship tips.  You can also call them advice or guidelines for a happy life.  Actually, once I started looking for these gems, I found dozens.  So many, in fact, that I wrote a motivational nonfiction book to share and celebrate the wisdom found in romances.

Below are snippets from three chapters of that book, All I Need to Know in Life I Learned From Romance Novels. These small excerpts are examples of truths I found on finding and keeping romance alive and well.

If you don't treat your partner right, someone else will

There are three rules for writing a successful romance novel: Focus on the relationship. Focus on the relationship. Focus on the relationship. I think it’s a great motto for marriage, too. With all the deadbeats out there, a good man will be snatched up by another woman before you have time to change the sheets.  Good men truly are hard to find.  If you have a good one, don't take him for granted.  There are women out there who want to steal your man away from you. They are conniving and plotting at this moment.  We’ve seen it, read about it, maybe experienced it; we know that it happens.  So what can we do to protect our unsuspecting men from the clutches of these enticing predators? What do our heroines do?

They put their highest effort into what matters to them.  The heroine does not act half-heartedly in anything.  This includes interactions with the hero.  The hero and heroine are always in touch.  The developing relationship is meaningful to them.  Let your mate know how important your relationship is to you.  And consider another writing maxim: show, don’t tell.

Whining isn't attractive

Whining annihilates romantic interest faster than finding a mouse in your bed.  People don’t appreciate listening to a whiner. And why should they? Everyone has problems. Whining is unromantic, unheroic, and downright useless. You’ll never hear a heroine whine. She may protest or point out negatives, but her challenge gets results, inspires action. No matter the heavy load she carries, she perseveres. As for the hero, you’ll never hear a real man snivel.  He may argue or be bullheaded, of course.  His riled conduct gets his point across, persuades.  No matter how down on his luck the hero is, he maintains his dignity.  Whatever they have been through, the hero and heroine don’t feel sorry for themselves.  They do something to change their circumstances.

Never trust anything a woman who has her eye on your man tells you

Distrust is like lava pouring out of a volcano, as it destroys everything it encounters.  Reading about it is much better than living it.  Though, sometimes, in spite of how much we trust someone, the evidence does incriminate him.  How do we forestall evil forces from entering our lives? Here are suggestions derived from romance novel heroines.

First, look at the motives of the person who casually mentions unpleasant “facts” about your partner.  Ask yourself, what does she have to gain?  Why is she telling you this; is it to inform, hurt, or warn?  Second, ignore the messenger’s advice and follow your own instincts.  Third, look at the situation from all sides, particularly your mate’s.  Maybe the hussy exaggerated.  Fourth, talk to him, if warranted.

The book (originally published in hardcover, now only available as an ebook) has 29 chapters of intriguing observations.  Other chapters for living a fulfilling romantic life include: If you stand around waiting for a man, you'll be alone for a long time; Attitude makes all the difference; Communication is the key to a healthy relationship; and The secret to hot sex is trust.

All I Need to Know in Life I Learned FromRomance Novels is the perfect companion for romance novel loyalists.  In it you'll discover how to apply the wisdom of romance novels in your own life.  Whether you're happily single, very married, or looking for someone special, I think you'll learn something beneficial while being entertained.  I wish you all a romantic Valentine's Day and I truly hope you find your own happy ending. 

Victoria M. Johnson knew by the time she was ten that she wanted to be a writer.  She loves telling stories and she's happiest when creating new characters and new plots.  Avalon Books and Montlake Romance published Victoria's fiction debut, The Doctor’s Dilemma, (A 2012 Bookseller’s Best double finalist).  Her other fiction book is a collection of romance short stories titled, The Substitute Bride and a novella, Hot Hawaiian Christmas. She is also the writer and director of four short films and two micro documentaries.   Visit Victoria's website at http://VictoriaMJohnson.com for inspiration and tips and find her Amazon author page or connect with her on Pinterest and Twitter.

Ménage à trois for Writers

by Victoria M. Johnson

I know what you're thinking and this isn't that kind of post.  But writers are sometimes known for waking up one night and realizing they've been caught with their pants down.  This post will help ensure that you keep your pants on and your head straight.  I'm talking about a healthy three-way relationship with the writer and two important people in her career.  Some writers have more than two others who are guiding, developing, and championing her work.  But I'm focusing on the writer-editor-agent triangle.  It can get tricky at times and writers may need to crack the whip once in awhile--an imaginary whip--just a figure of speech, folks.  Here are seven reminders to help you stay on coarse:

In a threesome everyone has a role.

Your role is to write.  Your editor's role lies mainly in editing.  Sadly most editors have taken on multiple tasks in areas such as scheduling, production, and sales.  Your agent's role is to sell your work and give you guidance on contracts, negotiations, and staying up-to-date with editors and publishing houses wants and opportunities.  Focus on your role but stay in touch with your editor and agent.  Keep the lines of communication open.  And remember your agent works for you.

All three of you want the same thing.

That thing is for you and your books to be a success.  Sometimes it might feel like one or the other partner has a different priority and the discussion (and decision) needs to come back to this common goal. 

Sometimes not everyone is satisfied.

All three of you are professionals and should always be treated with respect.  It's okay to disagree.  It's okay to not get your way every time.  It's okay to speak up on things that really matter to you.  It's not okay to be a pain in the butt to work with.  It's never okay to be disrespectful.

You have more control than you think you do.

You have a say in many aspects of the publishing process, including contracts, book covers, titles, scheduling, and revisions.  Some houses give authors less input than others; and some give authors no choice in these matters.  In cases where you have less control than you'd like: stay calm, think things through, and make the best decisions for your career.

The time to run a google search on someone is before you hop into bed with them--this applies to agents and publishing houses, too.

Your agent selection can help make or break your career.  Choose wisely.  Pick one with a good reputation, with clients whose books they've sold, and who doesn't have complaints against them.  While you may not have a choice what editor you're assigned to, or the one you love may move on, you have a choice what publisher you submit your work to. 

Sometimes you have to do unpleasant things.

Among the worst chores a writer has to do is fire an agent.  But it's hardly ever good to stay in a bad relationship.  Check your contract for the legal way to sever the bond.  Be aware of the ties that still bind you to that agent.  Likewise, you may decide it's best to leave your publishing house.  Again your contract (and your agent) will guide you.

Delight in the bliss.

Everything going great in your ménage à trois?  Congratulations.  Relationships take time, trust, and mutual respect to work long-term.  It's especially rewarding when you all take pleasure in and benefit from the three-way liaison.

Victoria M. Johnson knew by the time she was ten that she wanted to be a writer.  She loves telling stories and she's happiest when creating new characters and new plots.  Avalon Books and Montlake Romance published Victoria's fiction debut, The Doctor’s Dilemma, (A 2012 Bookseller’s Best double finalist).  Her other fiction book is a collection of romance short stories titled, The Substitute Bride. She is also the writer and director of four short films and two micro documentaries.   Visit Victoria's website at http://VictoriaMJohnson.com for inspiration and tips and find her Amazon author page or connect with her on Pinterest and Twitter.